Today falls between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur on the Jewish calendar. This marks the beginning of the Jewish New year and is a time to connect to what is sacred in our lives. For me, it is a time to take a break from our endless ‘doing’ and connect to ‘being’. When I say ‘being’, I mean who we are right now-not who we want to become.
This seemingly simple task can actually be incredibly challenging. As a culture, we are continuously focused on moving forward, making new achievements, adding more accomplishments to our resume. We hope and believe that when we get THERE- we will have arrived; arrived at a place of infinite joy, peace and fulfillment.
In my work with families with autistic children since 1997, I see the same pattern magnified.
I have heard many families tell me that they will be happy, when their child__________ (you can fill in the blank with the many things you might want for your child- like when my child recovers, when my child communicates, when my child is toilet trained, etc.).
What happens is this: a child with autism is experienced as a work in progress and many parents suffer from the endless desperation of getting there- the place where their child’s potential is truly actualized so they can finally be happy.
Does that sound familiar to you?
What I am about to say might spark a lot of controversy- but I’m gonna say it anyway…