Think for a moment about the time in your life that you did not get what you wanted. These are the times that we look at our life and might feel frustrated, disappointed, even angry that we did not get what we wanted.  This can come in many different forms; having your child diagnosed, losing a job, getting an illness. Over the past year I have had several situations where I felt challenged by not getting what I want, for example,  when I had a miscarriage in my 5th month or losing a significant amount of money with our builder who has not built a house after 2 years of waiting.  What are these moments for?  How can we possibly view them as anything but bad- a curse, punishment or simply poor luck?

I have done alot of thinking and processing about this question, especially in the past year, and I am learning that  what I want is not always what I need.  I believe that there is a benevolent force, that I call god, that gives us what we need instead.  Upon reflection, I know that my miscarriage was my impetus to start a health journey that I truly believed has saved my life (many of you have seen in my previous blog the transformation that my blood cells went through).

Last week I did a beautiful consultation with a Mom in Israel named Amit, who was recently diagnosed with MS. In the past month she has been feeling a serious decline in her energy, ability to move her legs and live her overall life with vitality. Her main fear and frustration was that she was no longer able to play the games in the playroom with her son Ori, diagnosed with autism.  She cannot jump with him, pick him up, swing him around and do all the energetic games that help him to be more interactive and communicative- and this was very painful for her.  She felt she was letting him down and not doing enough to help him because she was no longer able to do what she used to.

In our consultation, we were able to unravel this hardship and see the hidden gift.  She has a team of people who are young and energetic and who can play with Ori in that way- just like she used to.  But now, as she is navigating her life not being able to do things other people can do and celebrating the small things she still is able to do (like helping him shower) she realized the gift.  She is now able to be on a journey together with her son.  They are both working hard at things that seem to come easily for others.  They are both trying to focus on the seemingly small things they can achieve and feel grateful for that.  They are both trying to believe in their own potential.  Now, she can support Ori, share her experiences with her son, be a model for him and let him be a model to her in a way no one else can.  To her, this is an even more deep and profound sharing  that she can have with her son and a powerful way she can support him on his journey- in a way no one else can. It was incredibly moving to see Amit come to this realization.

How can you find the hidden gift in your challenging situation?

1. Be daring enough to believe there is a gift- as hard as it may be to see.  Just because it is not something you want does not mean there is not a bigger gift in it for you.

2. Ask yourself this question: What is the hidden gift in this situation?

Come up with a list of answers, explore this with a friend/partner.  Make this gift the forefront of what you see, until it does not seem hidden at all.


Whether you believe in a god/benevolent force or simply decide that you might as well reap the gifts of every situation- this exercise can completely change the way you experience some of the most challenging situations in your life.

Also, I wanted to remind you, to help you deal with challenges in your life, SAVE THE DATE for my next FREE teleseminar, titled:

“Putting an end to challenging behaviors: Discover the 3 sure-fire strategies to help your child move through hitting, biting, throwing, jumping off furniture, screaming and more!”
Tuesday, February 28th 12pmEST/5pm GMT